It's Already Happening is the weekly newsletter, where we live our definition of success like it’s already happening, as the quickest way of getting there and enjoying it
Perspective
We grow up hearing the golden rule: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”
And while it sounds noble, how has that worked out for you?
I’ve been a giver for most of my life. Driven, empathetic, someone who believed that if I just poured more into others, life would balance itself out and eventually pour back into me.
But what I discovered (painfully) is that treating others the way I wanted to be treated often left me hollow, exhausted and sometimes even resentful. The energy didn’t always return.
Meanwhile, I observed people—some of whom were seen as selfish—living lighter, freer, more aligned lives. And what became clearer over time is this:
The world responds not to how you treat others, but to how you treat yourself.
It doesn’t mean you stop being generous. But when you start treating yourself with the same respect, love and consideration you give others, everything starts to shift.
You start teaching the world how to treat you, instead of just expecting it to happen
The better I get at this (I’m still a work in progress, mind you), the better my life has gone; emotionally, mentally and spiritually. However, there are potential obstacles that may arise from going down this path…
The people who benefited from you putting others (mainly them) before yourself
The part of you that was ‘putting others before you’, because you actually wanted something back in return.
With #1, those people will either embrace the new change or won’t. It’s a part of humanity for humans to either stay connected, get closer together or drift apart and being ok with either path is what can boost one’s self-esteem and confidence.
With #2, you’ll realise that being what you thought was ‘selfless’ actually comes from a very selfish place. The truest form of giving is not needing anything back, from reciprocity, to even gratitude.
One Thought to Sit With
“On a scale of 0-10, How Well Do I Treat Others?
On The Same Scale, How Well Do I Treat Myself.”
Take a moment to reflect. If there’s a gap between the two, that gap might be telling you something important about how you value yourself, and how the world mirrors that back to you
Since the age of 15 up until now, I’ve supported hundreds of people, from young people (even younger people when I started as a youth mentor) and families to professionals and business owners.
I’ve delivered workshops, coaching sessions, and talks in spaces I never imagined I’d be welcomed into.
I’ve racked up over 600 hours of paid coaching, often holding space for others whilst having a history of not holding enough space for myself.
But today, I’m recognising myself.
Because I didn’t wait to feel “ready.” I didn’t wait for life to be perfect. I kept showing up, looking my vision square in the eyes and enjoying living my definition of success.
Write a short paragraph that celebrates why you deserve your flowers.
It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It just has to be real. Maybe you passed an exam no one thought you would. Maybe you kept going after your heart was broken. Maybe you just made it through the week.
Whatever it is—if it matters to you, it counts. There’s no achievement too small. No reason is too silly.
You deserve your own flowers. And I hope today, you give them to yourself.
Until Next Time…
You don’t have to earn your worth. You already have it. But how you treat yourself can be the reminder.
Let’s walk like we’ve already arrived. Let’s give ourselves the respect, grace, and celebration we’ve long given to others.
It’s already happening. With you, Odudu ‘Emmillio’ Inyang
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